Wednesday, April 15, 2009

First Annual Real Denver Sports Helmet Awards

With the season over for the Avs, I thought we could pass out some awards to some deserving Colorado Avalanche players. Real Denver Sports would like to acknowledge the players of the Colorado Avalanche with the meaningless Helmet Awards.
The categories, strictly made up on the spot, by myself and the staff are:

You Played Your Ass off for a Crappy Team: Ryan Smyth
Ryan Smyth should be the next Captain of this team, hopefully that is a year from now, but anyway...this guy really stepped up when the going got tough. Sorry Paul, I thought this was your team, but I've yet to see this kind of leadership from you.

Bones Like Twigs Award: Paul Stastny
Will someone please deliver this trophy to Paul? I really don't see a need for him to, walk up these steps to the just take this down to him...stay where you are Paul.

The Player Most in Need of a Neighborhood Kid-Joe Sakic
Poor Joe, what a crappy season. I want all you kids living around Joe to step up and start doing some chores! For goodness sake, will some one please mow his lawn for him this Summer?

Best Name Award-Cal Clutterbuck
Every year (um, starting this year) we give out this award, it's one of the funnest ones of the evening! Ok, I just wish he was an Avalanche.

Best Hockey Nose-Adam Foote
No argument!

Player Most Likely to be a Car Salesman Next Year-Andrew Raycroft Andrew here...Razor...? Didn't think so.

You don't have to be pretty to play hockey-Ian Lapperriere

But it Doesn't Hurt-John-Michael Liles

Best Call-up Award-Chris Stewart

I guess in this age of Sidney (can't we just call him Sid?) Crosby, I was a little impatient with Stewart. Because the Avs sent him down early in training camp I was worried that he was a bust. He probably just had some normal growing up to do, and I think the Avs probably handled it well. He looks ready to start growing on an NHL team. His defense might need a little work but I like his tenacity. I don't see him ever going back to the minors.

Most durable player-Milan Hejduk
Wow, after that off-season scare due to some Czech newspaper reporting Milan's bum knee giving out at any minute, it's a wonder that the man with the Magic Hands played 82 games. The ONLY Avs player to do so. Milan Hejduk does not get enough credit in this town. This guy has been solid on this team for years, let's hope he sticks around a while longer.

Most pointless call-up-Per Ledin

Best facial hair-Ben Guite
Cue up the porn music!

Worst facial hair-Three way tie, Raycroft, Liles & Tucker
These goofs get this award for growing late season beards. Have you guys looked at the standings lately? Are those golf course beards? Wait, maybe they're "We're out of the playoffs" beards? WTF? Besides, Liles looks like a goof, that beard is Elfish. Shave it!

And our most prestigious award of the night, that is why it is saved for last is the
Most Balanced Player Award- Tyler Arnason
This goes to the guy that most exemplifies the all-around hockey tradition. The guy that does it all! We are proud to present this award to Tyler. With 5 goals and 6 hits*, you can't get more balanced than that!

That's it folks, we are running late, no time for your speech Tyler!!
Your late, local news is next!

Posted by: From the Point

*This stat represents the entire 2008-09 season.

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