My Name is Red Wing

With the Avs about to play the Wings for the 3rd time this season, I thought I would rip-off…er write an little ditty based on the Dodge Ram commercial. Red Dodge trucks, Detroit Red Wings…get it?

My name is Red Wing and my bench is empty

I am fueled by dead octopi,
Steered by a convict.

I have been driven into the boards,
I am stopped by injuries.
I have a can’t-score spirit in a can’t-win division.

My name is Red Wing and my score sheet is empty

My players are mangled.
They are battered,
They are beaten.
They are not built to last but to circumvent the CBA

The call-ups must not achieve but over-achieve.
I am built to protect a mediocre goalie behind the winged wheel by whining even more than he does.

My name is Red Wing and my goaltender is empty

I had McCarty carry the Stanley Cup, the loyalty of the Hockey world,

the greatest accolade, the envy of my peers.
McCarty carried the Cup,
Joe Eliot carried the Cup,
And delivered the Curse without fail.

My name is Red Wing and my Cup is upside-down

The road ahead is long but I know my destination.
I am on course (golf) and my knee brace is strapped on and ready to go.
I will not win my division,
I will not make the playoffs,
My season will come to a screeching halt.

My name is Red Wing and my season is all but over

-From the Point

Darren McCarty - Air Guitar Champion?

How is that Versus gig working out for you? Just in case you need a new hobby or job, I found this article from a couple years ago. In it, you say:

"I remember in Grade 11, we did, like, an air-band assembly," the 36-year-old forward told NHL.com. "It was right when 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' came out, and I remember playing guitar.

Maybe you can start playing air guitar in the Canadian Championships?

Oh yeah! Red Wings sign Brad May!

Wow, and I thought today was just another ho-hum day. But it looks like The Def Leppard Curse is still alive and well. The Wings can't possibly think it's a good idea to sign this slag-footed excuse for a hockey player! They already have the esteemed Mr. Todd Bertuzzi. But there must be a reason...the Curse! So voodoo is afoot!
Naw, why am I so bitter? I'm not, no really, I'm just glad the boys are back together. It is what it is!
-From the Point

The Def Leppard Curse

Ha! So it took all the way to game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals to be sure that the Curse of Def Le‘Tard was actually going to bite them in the butt. But it did!

For those of us that were hoping for the demise of the Red Wings all season, well, it was a long season indeed. It looked as though it wasn’t going to happen. And why would it? Even Avalanche fans know that the Wings have built a quality hockey club. I figured that the Wings mojo was just too strong to be affected by some rock-n-roll dope making a mockery of the greatest trophy in sports.

But, of course I should have had faith that a trophy older than that franchise would prevail. Sure, they are an “original six” but that trophy is still more storied, by far.

In fact I never should have doubted it. I’m now sure that Mr. Stanley was just toying with the Wings. Letting them think they were off the hook. Stringing them along until THE VERY LAST POSSIBLE GAME OF THE SEASON!

And then…

BAM!!!

The smack-down was unleashed!

NO ONE and I mean no one with an ounce of objectivity gave the Pens a chance to win this thing.

The only explanation is the curse.

May it continue for years upon years.