Zombie Quenneville

by J. Scott Moore


Seems Zombie Hunters was scoping out an area around Vancouver and caught Coach Quenneville and a troop of Zombie Goalies on their way to Stanley Cup Finals game five.

I always knew Coach Q was a goalie killer.  I didn't know just how sinister it was.

 

Parroting the NHL

by J. Scott Moore

Myths, half truths and things people repeat without thinking

Real hockey towns don’t have Ice Girls? Boston, Chicago, Caps, Devils, Flames, Ottawa, Vancouver, Islanders, Pittsburgh…who else?

The Original Six are “real” hockey towns. Oh, so all those empty seats in the Joe and Chicago’s arena were just smart fans staying away from a bad product? And there’s absolutely NO bandwagoning going on in Chicago these days…right….!

The shoot out is a skills contest-this is a team sport. The OT should go from 4-4 to 3-3 to 2-2, etc. Wait, I thought you said this is a team sport!

Players that are suspended for injuring another player should have to sit out as long as it takes the injured player to return. Actually, the player’s association might want to look at negotiating this one into the next CBA because this will undoubtedly increase the number of men that get a shot at the NHL by at least a 1,000 players. There will be so many players sitting on their duff at home waiting for such-and-so to get healthy that the minor leagues will be exhausted of players. Of course never mind that all the players sitting on said duff will need to be paid…so watch those ticket prices go thru the roof! Great idea.

Southern Hockey doesn’t work. How long have the Blues been operating? Wasn’t it Buffalo and Washington that went bankrupt long before Phoenix?

+/- is the most worthless stat in the NHL – that is until it supports that argument you are making about such and so player. Then all of a sudden it’s ok to add it to the argument, though often with a CYA caveat / cliché, “Even though +/- is the most worthless stat in all of hockey…blah blah blah”

What are your hockey pet peeves?

   

More about Bob Probert - "Tough Guy" book review

I hope you read the review I posted at Hockey Independent (if you have, thanks! leave a comment!), but I though I would post a couple other thoughts here.

Some of you might be wondering what I’m doing reading a book about a dyed-in-the-wool Red Wing like Bob Probert. But the bottom line is that I’m a hockey fan. If the Avs moved away tomorrow I would still love hockey. And under the umbrella of hockey are the tough guys. And I love the tough guys. Probert is a classic. So reading this book was a no-brainer.

In many ways this book could be called “How to use Fame, Fortune and a Meat Thermometer to Coast Through Rehab.” Bob Probert was in every famous rehab you can think of and many more to boot. But good times were just a set of tickets and an autograph away when you are Bob Probert. And the meat thermometer? Well, buy the book!

Why is it that Barry Melrose seems to be in every book about hockey I’ve ever read? Has anyone played the Kevin Bacon game, but with Melrose? What is that, 2 degrees of Bacon, or some such?

There are a few tidbits in this book for Avs fans. Probert mentions Claude Lemieux (with New Jersey), Tony Granato and Scott Parker. Though Chris Simon is mentioned, oddly he doesn’t mention that Simon beat the crap out of him in this playoff game. Boom!

Probert uses the term Boom! in the book. Something that seems to be popular with all fighters I follow on Twitter. So just thought I would throw my own in there!

Probert actually had the guts to think about telling Theo Fleury to get his act together and get straight. Wow. He didn’t, but he thought about it, talk about calling the kettle black.

Probert’s inability to keep up with his probation requirements meant that the Wings had to cut a deal with the judge, to Probert’s surprise it was a night in jail. A real surprise since they didn’t even tell him till they were on their way to see the judge. Probert felt tricked and I can’t say I blame him. At one point, Probie hadn’t played in Canada for 3 ½ years due to immigration/legal issues.

The book is full of all kinds of fun stories, like getting a world famous artist to include is number 24 in a painting, the odd wedding gift he received from Don Cherry, how he lost so many pairs of sunglasses and who is “Mo Melly?”

As you can imagine, Probert doesn’t hold back when it comes to his opinion of people. Gary Bettman: well it isn’t pretty as Probert rips him a new one again and again.

Overall a good book, I would recommend it to fans of the Wings, and tough guys!

-From the Point

The Salary Cap can SUCK IT!

As I was watching the banner raising ceremony for the Chicago Blackhawks I couldn’t help but think that it might be another 50ish years till they win the Cup again. And that is really sad, especially for the fans of Chicago, obviously, but for many of us as well.

The cap prevents dynasty building. And dynasties are good for the whole sport. Imagine the Oilers having to trade away Gretzky’s line mates after the first Cup? What a downer.

Sure, money CAN buy championships, but as I recall the NY Rangers were at the top of the payroll spenders in the pre-lockout times and couldn’t even get into the playoffs.

Now you have these ridiculous scenarios where the Hawks are forced to ship out half their team (mostly to Atlanta, and why isn’t THAT an investigation?) and at the other end of the spectrum the Avs are (supposedly) saving their nickels and dimes to ensure they have enough dollars in the future to sign all the young guns.

I’m surprised I didn’t see the Colorado Avalanche wearing Dollar General jerseys in the preseason.

Dynasties serve the purpose of motivating the entire league to emulate that success. It builds rivalries that are real and passionate. Not these inane attempts by the league to force rivalries via repeated meetings in the regular season.

Right now the Chicago organization can’t find enough seats for the people that want into that building. If they are making money like MIT students in Vegas then why can’t they spend it on the players they want to spend in on?

And while I certainly am not endorsing the Avs cheap, er thrifty, er brilliant er responsible…approach to the cap this season. It seems ridiculous to claim on the one hand that the league needs to get spending under control (never mind the stupidity of the owners claiming spending is out of control when they are the one’s with the checkbook) and at the same time imposing (or relenting to the NHLPA’s demands for) a salary floor. A minimum that is much higher than many teams were spending pre-lockout.

The Hawks have a target on their back this year. But it’s nothing like the Oilers after all those Cup wins. And I firmly believe that a team that is incredibly successful is a team that captures the attention of an entire nation. Unfortunately, the NHL has embraced the mediocrity that the other major sports also heartily endorse.

As for the Hawks winning the Cup again…good luck, you will need it.

Bandwagon Hopping – Let’s Go Flyers!

The Hawks have too many guys with goalie numbers that aren’t goalies. It’s weird to see all those jersey’s in the 30’s range skating around out there. I’m pretty sure there is something fishy going on. Might involve a plot!

You may find me a despicable sports fan. The worst kind of all. Showing no loyalty except to the almighty “W” of winning. But the age of free agency is now and is the players can move and change their loyalties. Why can’t I?

In my post HERE I explained why I was on the Hawks wagon. But frankly I still can’t stand coach Q. I naturally root for ANY goalie (Niemi) to overcome the poor goalie-handling of the Stache. And I do like Dustin Byfuglien.

But it just isn’t enough.

Not when Ian Laperriere is on the other team.

Yep. That’s it. One guy is all it takes. The right guy. A guy like Lappy.

If Lappy has played in your town you understand. And I know there are other guys in this league that have that kind of following. But this is the guy that has played in my town and I’m more of a loyalty guy than is probably good for me. But that’s the way I am.

Sure, this “fan” is hopping wagons. I can see why people do it. But lets get something straight here. I’m an Avalanche fan through and through. This is just the fickle post-season machinations of an emotionally scarred Colorado fan.

-From the Point

Buffy the Canuck Slayer

I'd be angry too if I wore that jersey on the glass

It's hard to say who's a bigger douche bag, that guy on the glass or Dustin Butt-fu#kin-ugly.  And if you think Buffy plays ugly, you are right.  Turns out he got a hat trick with that last goal and that was as ugly as it gets!

Oh wait, THIS is uglier.

I love players like Buffy.  He's mean, he's ugly and he's passionate.  He's the guy that everyone one on every other team absolutely HATES!  I would take that guy on the Avs ANY day.  Be better than Darcy freakin' Tucker.

And what's up with the Sedin-bot trying to get bad-ass?  That is some funny shit.  I mean c'mon.  It's about as genuine as Heidi Montag.  Don't get me wrong, all hockey players are tough, it's a tough game.  But when it comes to a little mucking and some actual nastiness, they don't have it.
That wraps another well informed game recap for game #3, Hawks are good to go from here on out!

-From the Point

Canucks VS Blackhawks

Battle for a Western Conf. berth is at stake tonight.  Frenchy and I make our predictions.

VS

Frenchy
For this series, I don’t really know what side to go for. It’s going to be tuff one. When looking at the depth of these two teams, they seem to be pretty equal. Let’s take a look at what these two teams are bringing to the table.

On one side, we all know what the Sedin twins can do when they’re on fire, those guys play like they’re two bodies using one brain. Samuelsson has stepped it up and scored some important goals. But, the Blackhawks can of course counter that with Toews, Kane and……Sharp. I want to say Hossa here but the truth is that he hasn’t played to his standards. There’s just something about Hossa when he shows up to a playoff game, he’s just not the same. When you get paid to score goals and yet only have one in 6 games, time to get going.

As for the D, Salo has been good as always and Edler is really becoming an elite defensemen. The Canucks don’t let that many shots go through and that is always a plus. For the Hawks, good news is that Campbell is back. Without him I would say their chances would be a lot smaller. Not only do they need him to be there to stop the rushes but he’s also got that offense skill that they need from the blue line. Let’s not forget that the Hawks have Duncan Keith, a Norris nominee, can’t be all that bad right?

The goaltending is where the Canucks might have a little problem, key word being little. Luongo can be insanely good at some times but he gets those little stretches where he just doesn’t seem to get it. If he doesn’t show up ready for a good series, they’re going to be in trouble. But, it could be worse though, they could have Quenneville as a coach. He’s a known goalie killer and why would it be different here. In my mind, Niemi has yet to prove himself an elite goaltender in this league. Maybe this is the series where he proves himself, we shall see.

I know for a fact that From the Point is going to jump on the Hawks bandwagon now that the Avs are out of the playoffs. But…I’m sure there’s more to it than that. He might not want to admit it but he likes the Hawks because of Quenneville. More specifically, the mustache. That thing is rockin’!!!! Maybe he thinks that thing has got super powers or something.

                    After the Game 1 disaster, Neimi decided to grow a mustache just like Coach Q.

Well it might have some super powers but winning the Stanley Cup isn’t one of them. This one is going to be tight but I just don’t see the Hawks pulling this off. The fact is that as soon as Hossa is on a team, it will not win the Stanley Cup.

Canucks in seven.




From the Point
Just how do the Hawks keep getting these nice long breaks between series? I’d say something smells fishy but it’s probably just the Canucks. Man do they stink! Or maybe that’s just Roberto Luongo that smells up the place?

Sure, he had a nice, ok, great game against the Kings in game six.

So Bobby-Lu is either on the verge of getting his playoff mojo or it’s just another “up” in his lackluster up and down play since…er…that giant contract was signed.

No matter, the Hawks are unstoppable. I don’t really know why I even bothered to root for my Avs all season long when the inevitability of the Hawks winning the cup has been SO apparent all season long. Despite Mr. Mustache running the team. And despite what Frenchy says, it is Niemi that has the super powers.

Don’t listen to him Capt. Niemi!

Now how to explain the Hossa Effect? Simple. The year with the Pens is a simple case of the Wings being better. The year with the Wings is a simple case of the Curse of Def Leppard.

The Sedin twinkies are a force to contend with, there is no doubt about that. However, Capt. Niemi will look like Wonder Woman fending off bullets with magic bracelets anytime the Sedins start firing. They will have no chance to score. In fact I willing to say right here, right now that the Sedins will go scoreless through this round. No, wait, I predict that the ‘Nucks will not score ONE. SINGLE. GOAL. On the great and powerful Capt. Niemi!

Hawks in…wait for it…four.

Mr. Quenneville, bring me a dream...

I want to dedicate a song to the Hawks to celebrate their win over the hapless Preds.

I'm feeling a bit antiqued tonight.

Old, you slow-wits. 

So here's an oldie but a goody going out the the Hawks for round two, watch out 'Nucks!

This is to the tune of Mr. Sandman...

Mr. Quenneville, bring me a dream (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make this the best series I've ever seen
Trust in Niemi and don't screw him
Don't treat him bad he's not Khabibulin.
Quenneville, you must atone
Treat your goalies like one of your own
Please turn on your magic mustache
Mr. Quenneville, stop smokin the hash!


(scat "bung, bung, bung, bung".)


Mr. Quenneville, get you a 'Nuck (bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him a Twinkie that you'd like to WHOA!
Give him the word that you're not a rover
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.
Quenneville, you're so alone
Don't have nobody to call your own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Quenneville, it's not a dream.

-From the Point

Hello Tears - Goodbye Playoff Beard

The tears have barely stopped flowing since the second empty- netter last night, just a really emotional time for me.  My stomach muscles hurt from sobbing myself to sleep. 
Some how I've pulled it together long enough to get a post up and even managed to shave the beard.
Here's a little playoff beard before and after photo shoot.  I'm pretty disappointed that it's time to shave it off.  For the obvious reasons but also because I was starting to get into the caveman look.  Gooseberry however, is quite happy that it is gone.

First the Before (notice the awesome Avs hat I got Lappy to sign)

Oh, and here's an intermediate shot.  The soul patch.  Always wanted one of those.  Probably just because Stevie Ray Vaughan used to sport one.  Mueller looks like he can wear one well enough, but I'm not kidding myself.  It lasted all of 10 minutes.

And now the After

Now that the Avs are out (sniff) I'm throwing in with the Hawks.  This is no doubt shocking news to many, especially Gooseberry, that I am willing to overlook Mr. Mustache and his evil ways to root for this team.  I could say that it's because I have family in Chicago and it's a good young team with good guys and fun to watch. 

But that really doesn't have anything to do with it.  It's the phenomenal goaltending I've seen all year, the brilliant coaching and of course Marian Hossa.  He's won everywhere he's ever played.  I can't miss!  And look, who doesn't love the team name and mascot?  A Blackhawk?  Awesome.  Know what else Stevie Ray Vaughan wore well besides a soul patch?  An Indian headdress!  Yeah, nothing cooler than a full headdress and a soul patch.  I'm amazed ALL Hawks fans are not dressed in a war bonnet for every game!

Since the Hawks aren't "my team" I feel zero responsibility to be objective or represent the intelligent or balanced fan.  No way buddy!  I'm a 100% bandwagon fan.  I have no idea who Cain and Taze are, are they brothers?!  So as the Hawks blaze through the playoffs I assure you that I will be providing hyperbole-laced bull crap like any good bandwagoner should! 

Of course Frenchy will also be appalled by my lack of Sid-love.  Whatever dude.  Ovie rocks!  Imagine the Caps and the Hawks in the Finals, the goalies would be so ragged by then it will be a score-fest to rival spring break in Cancun.

Oh, and bad news Goosey - I'm starting my Hawks playoff beard right ... NOW!

-From the Point

SUV’s vs Watchmakers

As a certified arrogant American, (aren’t we all?) I just want to ask Yahoo! what the heck they think they are doing with this ridiculous map of the world showing where the US is, as if you don’t already know! The only thing more maddening than American Conceit® is disingenuous modesty.

Speaking of arrogance, the Canadian team asked the IOC for a pass-thru to the Medal Round, I mean seriously, just give them the points, haven’t you seen the women’s team? Wow, what a power-house!

It’s Fat Tuesday and haven’t the Alcohol Olympics started in New Orleans? And what about Quebec City? Do they even care that Canada is playing a game today? Of course not!

I think Zach Parise should consider giving up his #9 for Lent and take the #8 so that I can call the Parise-Stastny-Kane line “The Crazy Eight” line! For those of you that are math-challenged, Stastny’s #26 ADDS UP TO eight, got that?

What I don’t understand about the box score of this game is how the score can be 3-1 but Drury doesn’t have a hat trick. Wha? Obviously there has been another major Olympic gaffe by the officials. Embarrassing!

I thought the Almost Crazy Eight line looked good. The US rolled over the Swiss like an SUV over a Timex. Yeah, I used a US made watch on purpose, the Swiss wouldn’t go away. You know, they just kept on ticking.

Where’s this youthful speed we were hearing all about? Well, maybe they were a little nervous? They came out flying but after peppering the Swiss goalie with no goals, they seemed to dial it down a little.

Speed kills!

Ok, I’ve got to go drive all over town to find the cheapest gas for my SUV. More later!

-From the Point

Avs 'Spirit" Jerseys and Dictator Quenneville?

So I'm watching the Avs on TV the other night and the during a commercial break they had an ad for the Colorado Eagles and they showed the cheerleaders...and I'll be darned with those Eagles Chicks don't look just like an Avs in a 3rd.  Haha, way to go Avs.  I've been trying to decide if I like these things or not and this isn't helping.  Neither is the fact that I watched the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Chicago Blackhawaks game tonight on Versus and the Hawks were wearing their very cool 3rd jerseys.  Very cool.

Tell me the Avs aren't wearing spirit jeresys, please say it isn't so.

Speaking of the Hawks game, anyone else catch these nutty fans with the coach "Q" banner?  This thing is huge!  I can't recall a player sign this big, I can't imagine this thing cost less than a couple hundred dollars!  Wow!  The best part is if the Cup doesn't come to Chicago, "Q" can take his banner to some small country, hang it up in town and declare himself dictator!  Sweet!

-From the Point