Monday, April 12, 2010

Playoff Minutia

Stupid Denver Media

So all of a sudden every Avs player on the team is on every media outlet in town. Hmmm. I heard Stewie on the Fan and Tucker on 1510. Know why they call it 1510? Cause the odds are 1510:1 that I will be able to hear that station in my truck on any given day. Some Avs beat reporter was on the sports extra the other night. All of a sudden Les Shapiro is an expert on fighting in the NHL. Thbpthbpthbp.


While there are vets on this team, none of them are really at the top of their game. Ok that is a little harsh, but seriously, when was the last time Tucker connected on a check? The boards are more afraid of him than the opposition. He’s been flying into the boards with no mercy all season! Yelle, sure he provides those intangibles, and I’m not saying those things aren’t important. But man, these aren’t guys that are going to score the game winning goal. Foote hasn't scored since Dutchy moved into the room under the master bedroom.  But Hejduk is still a good player, thankfully he got that knee taken care of over the Oly break. So all that means is that the guys that are low on the playoff experience need to be high on the productivity.

Rob Blake is a Penisloaf

There I said it. That guy left town with a comparable offer on the table from the Avs and even collected a $1,000,000 bonus that first year of the salary cap. That really screwed this team. All the while pretending that he wanted to go home. Horse-pucky! Now he is in SJ and I’m sure that has nothing to do with the fact that he thought the Kings were going down the tubes.
So now he knocks Mueller out of the solar system with a hit that looks a LOT like one that got Ovie a two game suspension. So he helped bring a Cup to Colorado, he’s still a mercenary. He reminds me of Shannon Sharpe when he left the Broncos, it was all about the money. And not really THAT much money. I’m big on loyalty. Both those guys earned my disdain with that crap. I can totally understand why the LA fans used to boo him so much. I won’t have any problem with booing Blake in game three, I hope you will join me.

More Challenges!

How is one of the youngest teams in the league going to fare when it comes to the playoff beards? Well first indications are that some of the guys are going to try to distract you with Mohawks. The problem with that is…well you gots ta wear a lid on the ice surface. Don’t know if these guys thought of that. But no worries! Peter Budaj has been preparing for this playoff run for months! Have you noticed him over there on the bench? For weeks that guy has been growing a beard, shaving it off, repeat. At first I thought he was growing it between his opportunities between the pipes and then shaving it. But that didn’t pan out. No, I think he has been growing them, shaving them and then making beards out of them for all the guys. Whew, this is going to be tricky, I just hope none of the guys have an Andre Agassi-like rug malfunction during a post game interview. Ya gotta worry about that glue coming lose with all that sweat!

1 comment:

  1. Okay..penis loaf is damn funny shit! Thanks for the laugh!