Wednesday, April 7, 2010

The Surprising Avalanche

For Immediate Release

April 7th, 2010

From the office of I. Stanley Honky:

I am pleased to announce that this organization has decided to change our name to the down-right appropriate…”Surprising Avalanche.” This decision will integrate well with the media’s current mood and in fact their season long astonishment that the Avalanche are a competitive team.

We believe that the “Colorado” moniker is too limiting in scope. Now people far and wide can embrace the Avalanche, anyone that IS surprised can feel like a part of this family.

While it is heretofore an unprecedented event for a team to change names in the midst of a season, we feel that integrating this transformation as the team heads into the post-season is the perfect time and place for such a surprising maneuver.

Said Pierre LaObster, “This is an organ-eye-zation that has surprised everyone.”

General Sherman reiterated LaObster’s surprise, “If I had known this team was going to actually compete I never would have given away a guy like Ryan Smyth.”

Special note to the press: Please refrain from using any synonyms to “surprising” when describing the “Surprising Avalanche” for the immediate future as this will cause bafflement and general bewilderment amongst our fans, new and old.

The following are some examples:

Thank you.

I have some inside sources that tell me that the name “Colorado Surprising Avalanche” was tossed around the room quite a bit but that the illuminati did not want to become associated with the only other NHL team (Anaheim Mighty Ducks) with such a silly name.

I called a few people around the league to get reaction to the news.

Doc Emerick: “Oh my! That IS surprising!”

Barry Melrose: “I’ll be surprised if they make it out of the first round.”

Patrick Roy: “I’m surprised at how much longer I’ll be staying here in Quebec.”

-From the Point

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